God loves me so who am I not to love myself?

Hi lovely people!

I know I've been MIA and I honestly have no excuse so I won't even try to give one. But thank God for the STRONG inspiration to write today :). I emphasize strong because I've felt God speaking to me in the last few days about self-love and just embracing how He has made me. Today, I was watching a video on Ashley Empowers youtube channel (side note: go check her out, she's so inspiring!) and the video resonated with me on so many levels. The video was based off a question a lady had sent to Ashley and basically the lady was wondering if she'll ever find love as a plus-sized woman. She's in her 30s and now considering losing weight so she can find a man. Sure you guys may be wondering why this resonated with skinny Dara lol. But yes it did because it took me back to my teenage years when I was still in highschool and used to be so insecure about my weight. I was super skinny and the smallest girl in my year. I was made fun of, called "skeleton", "sack of bones"(this was probably the one that hurt me the most, I think I cried), "toothpick", and the list could go on. On top of this, I was shy and very quiet so you can imagine how the combination of all of these made me the perfect candidate for bullying. I was so insecure about my size that I thought I was unattractive and that was probably why I didn't get any much attention from the guys. So, while everyone was getting into relationships, I was a single pringle throughout my 6 years in high school.

Upon getting to college, I thought my status would change. After all, college was where a lot of people found husbands so I imagined in freshman year that I'll be hooked with a fine man lol. But no! Here was I at age 19 in my junior year (3rd year) and still very single. I remember one day, a few of my concerned loved ones sat me down to give me a talk about the fact that I was 19 years old and in college and never been in a relationship. Like wow how strange! They said I needed to go out more to meet people. But from the person talking to me, I knew "going out" meant partying and being an introvert, that is really no fun for me. If anything, it's draining. So, I remember crying after that conversation because I thought to myself this is me, I'm not outgoing so why should I have to change that to find a man. Plus, it's not like I don't like going out; it just depends on where. Because the general assumption about introverts is that we don't like going out which in fact is not true. We just value smaller, more intimate settings over large crowdy ones. Nevertheless, after the conversation, I became really concerned that maybe I was indeed strange but one thing I had known even from a very young age was that I wasn't going to date for dating sake. I knew I didn't have to go through multiple relationships before finding the "one". Good things are worth waiting for right? and I'm glad I did wait for my good thing. While I'm glad I did wait, the truth is I struggled with my quiet introverted personality for a long time because I thought it was a hindrance to so many things. But as I have matured in my faith in God, I have become more secure about my looks and my personality because I'm convinced God made no mistakes in how He created me. The unique way God has designed us- looks, attitudes, personality, interests, is what makes us who we are so why don't you stop hating on yourself and start loving you. Let's explore a few tips below:

1) Find your identity in God: the first and most important step to loving yourself is going back to your source. Self-love is not something we can just muster up from our inside within our own strength and power because let's be honest, there are days where we don't love ourselves and we're really not proud of ourselves because of something we did. But on the flip side, God always loves us. We did nothing to earn His love in the first place so we can never do anything to take it away. Romans 8:31-39 are the favorite bible verses which I believe best capture God's love for us. So, quit letting your scale, bank account, GPA, or society define who you are. Rather, go to the word and focus on what God says about you. At the end of the day, it's His opinion that matters the most.

2)  Practice positive self-affirmation: Proverbs 23:7 says "as a man thinks in his heart so is he" and proverbs 18:21 lets us understand that words have the power to kill or give life, so we pick which we want. I'm sure we all want our words to give life, therefore we must speak positively. It's not just enough to know what God says about you in His word, you also have to speak it. Everyday I'll tell myself things like: "I am bold and confident", "I am favored by God and people", "I am a powerhouse". It's amazing the wonders speaking life into yourself everyday does. Try it!

3) Forgive yourself for past mistakes: we've all done things we're not proud of but we mustn't let our pasts rule us. It's hard to move forward when we keep looking back. So, one thing we must always remember as Christians is that we're forgiven and yes, that includes our past, present, and future sins. Jesus' blood paid it all (Matthew 26:28).  Based on that knowledge, we also ought to forgive ourselves. 

4) Invest in yourself- loving yourself means investing in yourself. So, this means different things e.g. reading, working out, eating healthy, going back to school if you need to, etc. For me, investing in myself has meant getting more in tune with my personality so I am always searching for articles and videos about introversion and this has really helped me in ways I never imagined. It has also meant eating more veggies, proteins, and less rice (my favorite food lol still struggling with this). Something we must realize most especially when it comes to investing in our health is that our bodies are God's temples (1 Corinthians 6:19). In other words, "we carry God" like my pastor will say. So our decision to lose/gain weight, work out more, and eat healthy, especially as ladies shouldn't be because of what society says. Rather, it should come from the realization of the fact that our bodies are God's temples; we treat it right because we know we have to be healthy to fulfill the purpose God has called us to. This also goes for men but I address it to us women because of the story I mentioned in my introduction about the plus-sized woman wanting to lose weight in order to find love. My point in a nutshell is that whatever you need to do to invest in yourself, do it!

I hope this post has blessed you because it has blessed even me writing it :). It is my prayer that we continually live in the consciousness of God's love for us so we can love ourselves and ultimately, love others. 

"I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well" (Psalm 139:14).